Doctors, Doctors, Doctors....

Last Thursday was my day to see the doctors. I planned to visit three in one day. My first stop was at 8:00 am and I went to an imaging place to get my thyroid tested with an ultrasound. This was to be a recheck to see if the nodules on my thyroid had changed. The technician was a rather large lady who put my portly shape in perspective. She had a set of hands, stronger than mine for sure. She prodded and pushed that machine into my throat like there was no tomorrow. After about 20 minutes of this I was free to go. I left in a hurry and headed to a gas station that I had seen on TV that was close to the medical center where they were selling gas for $2.77 a gallon. I can't believe I was getting excited about that price. In Italy the people pay over $5.00 a gallon and we complain when it approaches $3.00. I next went to a small taco place for a couple of tacos and a coffee before I headed to my next appointment.
This was at another imaging place. This time it was for a brain MRI. I think people had long wondered if I really had a brain, especially my mom who would yell at me, 'Mark use your brain!' When I got there I was promptly put into a cubicle to put on some paper shorts, which immediately ripped in the crotch. They then put me on a plastic table and strapped me in. They then slid me into a plastic tube,or should I say,'tomb'. I'm glad they gave me earplugs because the symphony of hammering sounds was way too much for my ears. I looked up and imagined being buried alive( I've got to stop reading those mystery novels). After about 20 minutes of this torture they slid me out, filled my arm full of dye and did another 10 minutes of pictures. It's hard to believe I was actually paying for this. They then sent me on my way.
After a casual lunch with a panini, a stop at a bookstore and some mystery reading and a purchase of some fragrant hand soap I was on my way to the last appointment. This one was with the dreaded urologist.Now he is a nice guy and didn't have too much torture in store for me. First they weighed me(ouch!), then took my blood pressure- real good. Then a pretty young nurse came in and pulled my pants down, placed her hand on my crotch(not kidding) and gave me a bladder scan. She took blood from my left arm( the right one was already filled with holes from the dye), and told me to wait for the doctor. After a few minutes he was in and had me strip down and bend over as he put on the dreaded laytex glove. After a few moments of agonizing pain he said I was OK and sent me on my way.
Now I'm not into 'S and M' but you would have thought it. Doctors are necessary for us to live. I wonder if I will get this 'good' treatment when we are in Italy. A national health care plan is not like what we do here. I know, I lived in Can ada. I guess I 'paid' the price of maintaining my health. I'll let you know how the tests turn out.